My Finn, my Bubba, turned eight last month.
Eight years ago he came outta me, and we brought him home.
Do you remember (if you’ve had one) what is was like bringing your newborn home?
Everything was roses and peaches and cream.
BAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!! Sorry… I just couldn’t pass that up.
Roses and peaches and cream were NOWHERE in sight.
In fact, I’m pretty sure there was a mass shortage of all things joyful across the nation, ’cause everywhere I looked, there was nothing that even remotely RESEMBLED anything of the sort.
I mean, make no mistake, I’ve loved each of my kiddos from the second I laid eyes on them.
Like, I’ll-rip-your-eyes-out-and-feed-them-to-the-birds kind of fierce if you were to threaten their health or well being in any way, shape or form.
Still do. And still will. (‘Sa mama thing.)
And while I was fortunate enough to have not experienced postpartum depression with any of them,
I’m gonna go ahead and be straight here (’cause, apparently, I have issues keeping my mouth shut about… well, ANYthing)…
the first several months of bringing my newborn(s) home was sheer and utter CHAOS.
Like, deer-in-the-headlights-awaiting-what-must-be-certain-death kindo’ chaos.
With our first, we were blindsided.
People told us what to expect, of course. We knew SO much of how it was going to be… without really knowing ANYTHING AT ALL.
*Babies cry. A LOT. (No really… I mean, like, A WHOLE LOT.) And they don’t stop when you ask them to. No matter how politely you ask it. Not even when you beg.
*Babies often don’t sleep when you want them to. (Or EVER, when you want them to.) And there’s a good chance YOU may never sleep again… ever.
*Breastfeeding? Ohmygosh. (If it was easy for you those first three months, don’t EVER tell me. Or anyone, really, ’cause there’s a chance you’re not from this planet. Which may freak people out.)
*The words “take a shower” can ’cause sudden and simultaneous severe physical reactions, such as instant, uncontrollable laughter coupled with extreme, incessant sobbing.
*And we won’t even talk about, umm… intimacy. ‘Cause, YEAH. NO.
I’ll never forget the day I sat down on the couch next to Thomas and started crying, quietly.
I said, “I’m not crying ’cause I’m sad. I don’t even know why I’m crying… I just know that I am, in fact, crying.”
And my UBER tough husband who I’ve still, to this day, NOT ever seen shed an actual tear, said, “I know. I feel the same way.”
And even when we were no longer “in the dark” on life involving a newborn, it was still HARD each time we brought our next one home.
But the thing is (and this is the beauty of Parenthood, I think)… the thing is, even after all of the crazy “HARD”, the rocking of our world, the extreme survival mode we lapsed into each time just praying we’d make it back into the clear…
even after all of the pain and suffering (yes, I’m using the word “pain” and flying that flag high right now) involved in choosing to become parents…
we wouldn’t rethink that choice for one teensy little second.
Going back, we’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.
All of it.
‘Cause each one of these babies of ours grabbed hold of our hearts so completely, and changed us so entirely, that the thought of not having them in our lives for one single solitary second would be enough to end us.
And while we know in the back of our minds that we don’t have control over whether or not we get to keep them with us for the rest of our lives, we nevertheless spend most of our energy praying for their health and happiness… and that we’ll be blessed enough to leave this Earth before them.
‘Cause we’re not sure, now, how our hearts can live without them.
Eight years ago, we brought our baby boy home.
And he and his sisters have changed us into different beings. They’ve made us so much better.
And we’ll never even begin to deserve them.
So when my Bubba asked for a Star Wars themed cake…
(MAYBE YOU DON’T REALIZE HOW OVER STAR WARS THEMED CAKES I AM)
I said without hesitation (ok, maybe there was only the teeeeeensiest bit of hesitation), “Sure Bubba. I’ll make you a Star Wars themed cake. You’ve got it.”
‘Cause… ya know… it was the least I could do for him being born into my life and all, and making me so dang special. Xx
How I made Chewy and this Millennium Falcon inspired cake available on Cakeheads.com!
My Chewy topper was inspired by the Funko Pop! line of toy dolls.